my weight loss story

This used to be on my “about page.” I’ve decided to remove it, but I didn’t want to delete it completely, so I’m turning it into a blog post. If you haven’t read it yet…here you go! 

the story

By now you’ve probably already scrolled through this looking at the photos, and you’re wondering where the infamous “before and after” picture is. You’re probably thinking: where are all the fat photos? Maybe she had an eating disorder? Then where are all the anorexic photos? But my story isn’t really about my exterior, it’s about what’s going on up in my head.

For the longest time, I was constantly seeking the acceptance of others. In grade school, I was painfully shy and always thought everyone was judging my every move. It was always about what others thought of me…was I cool, was I pretty enough, thin enough. Nothing was ever enough.

high school

During freshman year, I had a crush on a guy who was part of the “gothic” clique, so I started wearing dark eyeliner and all black clothing. Except on Fridays, because I was also a cheerleader and had to wear my uniform to school (hello…identity crisis?). I just wanted to fit in…with everyone. Luckily my gothic phase didn’t last the year, but it did help me realize that I liked being different than the rest of my Abercrombie & Fitch-wearing classmates. Eventually I gained some confidence and let my true personality shine, but I still wasn’t happy with my body.

akjsd01 

I was never fat, just pear-shaped compared to my rail-thin friends. Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back” was my personal anthem at school dances. My friends would circle around me and we’d all point at my butt and sing along. (I have a friend named Becky too, so it was perfect) Aside from those moments of glory, having an hourglass figure wasn’t so fun when it came to clothes shopping and events that require swimsuits. I hated the fact that my friends could wear anything and look great, but I could never pull off whatever trend was popular at the time. I think gaucho pants were my only saving grace, but those were popular for like, two seconds.

college

Living on campus, I feared the “freshman 15” so I ate what I thought was healthy at the cafeteria, and stocked up on 100-calorie packs in my dorm room. A friend had convinced me to join the women’s rugby team, which ended up being my saving grace. Since my one and only semester of cheerleading in high school, I had never been part of a real team. The whole experience contributed to my most fond memories of college.

rugby game

my mom and I at one of my rugby games, probably 2008

During that time I had also become extremely close with a girl in my suite, and we ended up rooming together for the next three years. Unfortunately, something changed in our friendship towards the end of junior year and she became a negative force in my life. I didn’t see it at first, and I thought her comments about my looks were just her being an honest friend. Eventually I realized she was putting me down to make herself feel better, and we stopped talking senior year. We lived with four other girls, and it turned into a nasty division of three against three. It was truly an awful time in my life, but during the last two weeks of college, I spent my time with friends who I should have spent more time with all along. I had a blast, and vowed to never let someone bring me down like that again.

post-college

After graduation, I was ready to move on, though I was still so hurt from someone who I thought would be my maid of honor someday. I spent a lot of time in North Carolina with DK during his last few months in the Marines, telling stories of all the drama that happened at school. He couldn’t understand why it was so difficult for me to forget about it. While he was at work, I applied to jobs online, watched movies all day, and ate. And ate…and ate. By the end of the summer, I still hadn’t found a job, but had finally gained that freshman 15…four years late.

at Country Fest, 15 pounds heavier

Me on the left, at Country Fest, 15 pounds heavier

the “real” world

That fall, I finally landed a job. Having some structure helped me develop a routine of doing Jillian Michaels videos before work and making a healthy dinner when I got home. It was the year of workout videos and “Eat This, Not That” books, which really helped me choose the right foods. In 2012, I discovered Pinterest, and that opened up a whole new world of fitness. It led me to healthy living blogs, propelling me further into my newfound obsession.

Though this was all in the interest of losing weight and becoming a healthier person, I became extremely critical of myself. If I missed a workout, I’d feel lazy and worthless. If I dipped into the candy jar at work, I’d feel like a failure. My subconscious was constantly berating me on my “bad” behavior, and it was not until recently that I discovered I’d turned into that mean girl from college. I broke my vow and didn’t even realize it was me who was bringing me down inside.

2013

2013

So here I am, working on self-acceptance (2014 resolution!), sticking with my healthy habits, and blogging about it. I hope my stories provide insight to your own lives, and I encourage you to reach out to me with any comments or questions of your own.

The above story was written in the beginning of 2014. Now, it’s September, and I’m still trying to not be so hard on myself. I eat cheese. I eat carbs. I don’t do juice cleanses. My main goal is to just live my life and be happy.

Follow me :: bloglovin’  // twitter // instagram // Pinterest // facebook // Google+

Back from Israel

Where do I even begin? I just had the most amazing 10 days of my life in a foreign country with a group of strangers. Every day was jam packed with adventures and emotions, some so intense I can’t even put into words. The organization is called URJ Kesher through Taglit Birthright. Kesher means connection. Taglit means discovery. I expected to have an amazing experience through my new discoveries of Israel, but what I didn’t expect was the deep connection I felt with the country and the people I met on the trip. As a blogger, I feel the need to document everything. But this experience was mine, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to share it, or if I can even do it justice by turning it into a blog post. Until I figure this out…stay tuned on social media for photos and videos.

Sea of Galilee

Follow me :: bloglovin’  // twitter // instagram // Pinterest // facebook // Google+

3 songs that make me feel good about myself

I remember the days when it was cool to like a certain band, and not cool if you still liked the Backstreet Boys (until you were old enough to listen to them “ironically.”) Now, I really don’t give a crap what people think of my music taste. I literally listen and appreciate all music, except for the few bands that I inexplicably dislike (Kings of Leon, U2, and that damn Happy song). When I hear something on the radio that makes me smile and car-dance, that’s all I care about. And when that song has lyrics enforcing positive body image? Even better. I’ve had these three on repeat for the past few days, so now I’m sharing them with you.

3 songs for positive body image!!

1. All About that Bass – Meghan Trainor

Ever since discovering this new hit on Gretchen’s blog, I’ve been obsessed. The style, the beat, the lyrics…all of it! It makes me feel like it’s okay that I’m not a size 0. 

2. Shake It Off – Taylor Swift

This one blew up overnight. By the time this post is up, you’re probably just as obsessed as I am over it. I saw some negative comments online about it before I heard it, and the next day I heard it on the radio but didn’t know it was TaySwift. I was hooked. Then when the song ended and they announced it was her, I was shocked…and then confused as to why people didn’t like it! I don’t care if it’s not “cool” to like her. I think she’s the bees knees, so there.

3. Try – Colbie Caillat

When I first watched this video and heard the song, I cried. She’s so right. You don’t have to try. I hope there are more songs like this in our future, especially for young girls struggling with body image. It’s so important that this message reaches them before it’s too late.

Tell me what song makes you feel good in the comment section below!

Follow me :: bloglovin’  // twitter // instagram // Pinterest // facebook // Google+

sweet almond pre-workout bites (5 ingredients)

I like to get my workouts done early in the morning right after I wake up. I don’t like skipping breakfast, but I don’t want to eat a big meal right before I exercise. That’s where these little snacking balls come into play. They’re easy to just grab and go, and one or two is enough to give me a little energy for my workout. I’ve had this recipe in my brain for a few months now, so when the August Recipe Redux theme was announced as Bars and Bites, I took it as a sign that it needed to be blogged.

Sweet almond preworkout bites! Great for a quick snack before the gym in the morning.

The key ingredient is maca powder, a Peruvian superfood that has many benefits, including its energizing capabilities. It’s also really beneficial in balancing hormones and aiding fertility…so uh…be careful. In this recipe, I’m utilizing the energy aspect of the maca powder!! Almonds are also known for being an energy superfood, too, so I threw those in there as well.

Sweet almond preworkout bites - make these for a quick bite on the go before the gym!

I think the best part about these is how easy they are to make, and how easy they make my mornings! Just five ingredients, blended together, and made into balls. Boom. You could also press them into a baking dish and then cut them into bars if you don’t want to spend the time rolling the balls. But we all know balls are more fun…

Sweet Almond Preworkout Bites
Yields 15
The perfect quick, energizing snack before a gym session.
Write a review
Print
Total Time
20 min
Total Time
20 min
Ingredients
  1. 1/2 cup roasted almonds (unsalted)
  2. 1/4 cup maca powder*
  3. 10 medjool dates, pitted
  4. 1/8 cup honey
  5. 1/2 tsp almond extract
Instructions
  1. In a food processor, pulse almonds until they become a coarse, grainy texture. Add the maca powder and pulse a couple times. Remove mixture and set aside.
  2. Put dates in processor and pulse until they clump into a ball. Break up the ball with a spatula and blend in the almond mixture.
  3. Add remaining ingredients and pulse until well combined.
  4. Form mixture into small balls, about 1 inch in diameter.
  5. Store in an air-tight container in the refrigerator for up to two weeks.
Notes
  1. *If you don't have maca powder, and you have no interest in buying some, you can replace this with protein powder, ground flax seed, or even oats.
The Pomegranate Bandit http://pomegranatebandit.com/
Be sure to check out the other submissions for this month’s theme!

bloglovin’  // twitter // instagram // Pinterest // facebook // Google+

 Loading InLinkz ...

Life update: I’m going to Israel

I leave for Israel in one week. I’m excited, anxious, nervous, panicky, and excited. With the events of the past few months, I wasn’t sure I’d still be going. However, we have been assured by the organization that we will stay out of harm’s way. I always get super anxious before a big trip not because of flying, but because I will be in situations beyond my control. I’m so used to living in my 9 to 5 world and my little bubble in the ‘burbs, so it will be really good for me to break out of that for 10 days.

It’s been tough keeping up with blogging this summer, only because I wanted to enjoy the summer and not spend it inside on the computer more than I have to. And I’m sure you guys don’t want to hear my ramblings about my workouts and how I ate too many Dorrito’s up at camp last weekend. So I’ll stick to the highlight reel…a few updates from the past few months!

1. Our House // Best purchase we’ve ever made. The kitchen has served as my “studio” for creative food experiments, which is why you’re seeing mostly recipe posts on here. I’ve bought a few pieces of furniture that I LOVE, especially this giant table from Wayfair that has been perfect for big parties on our porch. There are still many items we need, like a dining room table, but the porch was our top priority since we’ve spent so much time there this summer.

home

2. Our Dog // This WOULD be the best purchase we’ve ever made, but without the house, we couldn’t have the dog. So, second best purchase. We love Norah so much, and I can’t believe how fast she’s growing! She loves hanging out with me in the garden while I pick green beans. Sometimes I toss her one and she carries it around and chews on it. So. Cute.

IMG_5820

3. Our Garden // DK has done a fantastic job with our first garden. I have done nothing, except harvest and eat the results of his hard work. And it tastes delicious. We have: green beans, broccoli, cherry tomatoes, summer squash, rhubarb, celery, sweet potatoes, romaine lettuce, sweet mint, basil, chives, honeydew melon, and radishes.

garden veggies

Garden veggies

4. Air Plants // Unlike my fiance, I do not have a green thumb, so I bought a bunch of air plants to decorate at home and at work. I’m. Obsessed. Buy them here.

air plants

5. The Canoe Trip // I was looking forward to this trip all summer, since last year’s was such a blast. We drove up on Thursday night, so we could get up early on Friday and go hiking. There are two mountains we hike up at camp. One is Percy Peak, and the other is Sugarloaf (in NH). We hadn’t done Sugarloaf in a few years, so we decided to go for it this weekend. Holy crap, I forgot how steep that mountain is. I was dying. Like, had to stop every five minutes dying. But we made it to the top, and crushed some sandwiches and celebratory beers.

We set out for our annual canoe trip on Saturday morning, ready to rock with a puppy life vest for Norah, which came in handy since she jumped in the river as soon as we pushed off. DK grabbed her by the handle on the life vest and she didn’t try it again. It was pretty cold this year, so she was shivering and crying for most of the trip. Mental note to do this in June or July next year! 

IMG_5972 IMG_5971

6. Wedding Stuff // I’m procrastinating on planning until after Israel. Two of my best friends are getting married right before me, so I’m kind of just comparing notes with them for now. We have our venue, but next up is the search for a photographer & DJ. Any suggestions for Northern Mass or Southern NH?

So there you have it. This is my life lately. What’s new with you?

follow me

bloglovin’  // twitter // instagram // Pinterest // facebook // Google+

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...